you know your american when

you talk non stop about living in the greatest country on earth despite the fact that only 18% of your population even has a passport, let alone seen another country.

You sterilize the needles you use to administer the lethal injection.

You are proud of living in a 'land of the free' which happens to hold 20% of the worlds prison population, as well as having the largest proportion of people in jail of any population on earth.

You worry that 21 is too young an age to drink but not that having 50,000 handgun murders a year is a problem.

You criticize a democrat candidate for being socialist, while the republican president socializes your entire national economy (you are now the equal and socialist sponsors of Man Utd thanks to Bush) without you noticing or caring.

You only enter wars to defend democracy when the opposite side declare war on you, but happily start wars that you lose with tin pot dictators all over the world.

You spend more on defense than education or health.

Your idea of a healthy option is a diet coke.